Sometimes you do not realize the things that are not right for you until you've tried them.
I gave it my all and just like any relationship, things just do not work out.
It's like that old slow jam, "Just Once" by James Ingram (all you old school slow jam people know what I'm talking about). "I did my best, but I guess my best wasn't good enough."
I am humble about my experience in law school.
I am honest about what is truly in my favor and what is not.
Apparently law school was not the right fit for me. It was difficult for me to admit it to myself, but reality did set in. At first I was embarrassed, disappointed and felt like a failure. The one thing that made me feel the most disappointed was the fact that I did all that I honestly could and something still was not clicking when it came down to exam time. I was fine during study sessions and in everyday life I would be able to blurt out a rule and apply it to a random everyday situation. Oh trust, just ask any of the girls in the tripod, or my cousin and they will tell you that I would randomly talk about a rule and apply it to whatever was going on at the time.
Now, at least I know that going to law school is not the path intended for me. At first I thought my life was over. I seriously did not know what to do with myself. I sobbed for days, talked to a couple of my best friends (Hi Tribez and Bri!) tried to gain composure again but ended up endlessly crying on the phone. I believed that law school was my chance to do something "big" in this world. It was my chance to finally "prove" myself. But after thinking about it, I was already living a life where I was doing something "big" and "proving" myself. I have been serving not only the local community but also the global community by volunteering and working for non-profit organizations that serve people not only in the United States but around the world. Giving to others is the most rewarding thing that I have ever done. It is what God has blessed me to do and although I will not be able to give back to society by giving legal advise, I will continue to spread God's love through other types of service.
I am very thankful for the experience of being accepted into law school and finishing my 1L year.
In the process, I have grown as a person. I also met 2 of the best 1L bffs a person could ask for (Hi Ana and Kim). I enjoyed the company of many other people that I consider friends. I am an intern at the Legal Aid Society of San Diego and have the opportunity to work with people that need assistance.
Being in law school has taught me valuable lessons in life:
1. what is considered jaywalking and 2. not to assume.
I will always go about a problem by IRAC-ing it and I will always double space after a sentence.
I am excited to know that in roughly 2 years I can call on a few lawyers if I need some lawyerly advise and hopefully they will give me a TJSL colleague discount!
The most important thing that I did learn from this 1L experience is that sometimes things just do not turnout exactly as planned. Sometimes the path that you envision goes astray but eventually the correct path that God has intended will be traveled again. I know that if you're unhappy, if things are just not going right for you and you've given your all, it could be a possibility that it might not be the right fit for you. Some people may think that I just gave up and quit but I did not give up. I gave it my all and kicked butt studying, it just was not my road to be taken. I look at it as moving on and letting go. Sometimes it takes more courage to move on and admit that it's just not going to work, instead of insisting on it happening and in the end causing a forced break up.
So this is it, my final entry in the life as a law student.
But don't be alarmed, the story will continue as I begin the process to apply for a different graduate school program and possibly find myself back to the city by the bay.
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