Throwing In The Towel

After days of crying, thinking and evaluating I have ended my relationship with TJSL.

Sometimes you do not realize the things that are not right for you until you've tried them.

I gave it my all and just like any relationship, things just do not work out.

It's like that old slow jam, "Just Once" by James Ingram (all you old school slow jam people know what I'm talking about).  "I did my best, but I guess my best wasn't good enough."

I am humble about my experience in law school.

I am honest about what is truly in my favor and what is not.

Apparently law school was not the right fit for me.  It was difficult for me to admit it to myself, but reality did set in.  At first I was embarrassed, disappointed and felt like a failure. The one thing that made me feel the most disappointed was the fact that I did all that I honestly could and something still was not clicking when it came down to exam time.  I was fine during study sessions and in everyday life I would be able to blurt out a rule and apply it to a random everyday situation.  Oh trust, just ask any of the girls in the tripod, or my cousin and they will tell you that I would randomly talk about a rule and apply it to whatever was going on at the time. 

Now, at least I know that going to law school is not the path intended for me.  At first I thought my life was over.  I seriously did not know what to do with myself.  I sobbed for days, talked to a couple of my best friends (Hi Tribez and Bri!) tried to gain composure again but ended up endlessly crying on the phone.  I believed that law school was my chance to do something "big" in this world.  It was my chance to finally "prove" myself.  But after thinking about it, I was already living a life where I was doing something "big" and "proving" myself.  I have been serving not only the local community but also the global community by volunteering and working for non-profit organizations that serve people not only in the United States but around the world.  Giving to others is the most rewarding thing that I have ever done.  It is what God has blessed me to do and although I will not be able to give back to society by giving legal advise, I will continue to spread God's love through other types of service.

I am very thankful for the experience of being accepted into law school and finishing my 1L year.

In the process, I have grown as a person.  I also met 2 of the best 1L bffs a person could ask for (Hi Ana and Kim).  I enjoyed the company of many other people that I consider friends.  I am an intern at the Legal Aid Society of San Diego and have the opportunity to work with people that need assistance.

Being in law school has taught me valuable lessons in life: 

1. what is considered jaywalking and 2. not to assume.

I will always go about a problem by IRAC-ing it and I will always double space after a sentence. 

I am excited to know that in roughly 2 years I can call on a few lawyers if I need some lawyerly advise and hopefully they will give me a TJSL colleague discount!

The most important thing that I did learn from this 1L experience is that sometimes things just do not turnout exactly as planned.  Sometimes the path that you envision goes astray but eventually the correct path that God has intended will be traveled again.  I know that if you're unhappy, if things are just not going right for you and you've given your all, it could be a possibility that it might not be the right fit for you.  Some people may think that I just gave up and quit but I did not give up.  I gave it my all and kicked butt studying, it just was not my road to be taken.  I look at it as moving on and letting go.  Sometimes it takes more courage to move on and admit that it's just not going to work, instead of insisting on it happening and in the end causing a forced break up.

So this is it, my final entry in the life as a law student.

But don't be alarmed, the story will continue as I begin the process to apply for a different graduate school program and possibly find myself back to the city by the bay. 

The Sweet Life

Life is so much sweeter once you have a break from school.
Once our 1L year ended with our last Torts final it felt lovely to get together with classmates and lose our inhibitions (some more than others!).
Spending almost 2 weeks at my home away from home (The Bay Area) made me realize how fortunate I am.  To have the ability to go pursue higher education and be amongst others who also strive to be the best that they can, is simply amazing.  I am fortunate to have that life in San Diego and also a vacation haven in The Bay.  Whenever I go back up there I am on vacay mode.  For the duration of my stay I throw all my worries away and revert back to a setting where I set all stress aside.
I am thankful for the beautiful people up there I call my brothers.  I can always pick up where I left off with them, as if I never left.
I am happy to have 5.5 in my life (gasp).
He is my get away and until another vacation comes along, I will frequently fly towards him.
Our relationship has an understanding and although it may be oddly viewed by people in society, it is one that works for the both of us.

Overjoyed

Celebrating my birthday is something that is an absolute necessity for me to do.
Not only is it a time to give thanks for what I am blessed with but it is monumental because 28 years ago I struggled to even be a part of this world.  As a pre-mature baby, trying to enter this world 5 weeks early, I believed that it was my time to shine.  Little did I know that it was God's will, including the miracle of technology that kept me going.  I am truly blessed to be a healthy being on this earth and have amazing people in my life. 
The outpour of greetings on facebook and text made my day and although it took me forever to respond to each greeting, I finally finished, many hours later.  Each person took the time to click on my page and write something so I figured the least I could do was say thank you.  Even if I haven't talked to most of those well wishers in ages, it is still comforting to know that each of them was willing to take a moment of their time to wish me a "happy birthday".  I hope that every single person that wished me happy birthday will be as blessed as I have been and will realize that each day is a miracle.
Life is a party to me, if I'm not having fun or enjoying what I'm doing, then I should not be doing it in the first place.  There are people that do not enjoy law school and let's admit it, not all of the subject matter is the most interesting to learn, but in all honestly, I love it!  I truly love being surrounded by my peers and knowing that what we are learning is a piece of the puzzle that will potentially change lives, is exhilarating. I love life, I love living and I love just being happy.  Maybe I have my own world that is full of sunshine and smiling faces but life is too short to bitch, calm down and just live.

1 Down, 5 To Go

Our first semester as 1Ls ended yesterday when we took our last final.
It was monumental as we all put down our number 2 pencils when the proctor called time.
That was it, 17 weeks and $20,000 later we are officially on break for a little over a month.
I really do not know what to do with myself right now.
I have a list of "Things to Do" during the break, one of them is to officially start the holidays and another was to no wake up or get out of bed until some ridiculous time like 2pm.  But last night as I was trying to catch up on Dexter all I could think about was what was the next case I had to read.  I just kept thinking I had to IRAC something for the next day, then realized that I had no responsibilities, no obligations for the next 5 weeks or so.
Hope my list of "Things to Do" actually gets done and I don't sit around like a lazy bum for all those weeks because before I know it, my journey of 5 more to go will begin again.

From Party Girl to Party Pooper

As most of my San Diego friends are out celebrating milestone birthdays (Happy Birthday Kat (25) and Emm (30)) I am laying in bed, about to catch some ZZZs before heading back to my second home, the law library at TJSL.

I thought I mentally and emotionally prepared for this journey of long hours of work and draining reading, but I did not. I've left behind a worry free life. A life where all I lived for was shopping, traveling and partying.

Now, what I live for are Memos and outlines and IRAC and MPC v. C/L and Erie and UCC and RPP. I'm drowning in a river of endless information and the levies are going to give in. By far, this is the most challenging experience of my life and it's only the beginning.

After 4pm on December 13th there are 5 more 15-week semesters left of this road called law school. Until then, I hope I can embrace all this information and enjoy the ride.

I just have to keep on telling myself to keep my eyes on the prize.

Although my life has changed, I do not regret this decision. I'm happy that I moved back home to San Diego, although I miss my Bay Area life terribly. Living at home with the parentals is great! They cook, clean and do my laundry. I almost forgot how it felt like to be a princess in her castle.

Even if there are few available times to socialize outside of school it's always fun to catch up my SD BFFs. I've also had the chance to meet awesome people in and also outside of my section. I love my Tres Amigas/Three Stooges group and I can't forget about my Jabalawkies too, although I barely see them. Oh and the late night, second floor crew... we should think of a name!

There really isn't anything to complain about. I'm actually lucky to be able to be in the position where I am today. Just have to remind myself that I would not be where I am today if I was not supposed to be here. If I was not supposed to be in law school, I would have never gone through the process of even getting here. I'm here now and I'm not going to let anyone down, especially myself. Just have to remember that the stress is part of the journey and is part of the learning process.

Things I Wish I Knew...

... before entering law school.

There is a list of different things that I wish I knew before finding it out on my own as a 1L.

Perhaps it is a "right of passage" to learn theses things on your own during the first year of law school but, if there are any potential, asprering law school students out there, I hope this list will be useful.



1. Time Management

I cannot stress the importance of being able to manage your time.

During your first year your classes are picked out for you.

You are placed in a Section and for one year this group of 1L students are your classmates, friends or competition. They are however you want to describe them.

There will be nights where you sleep late and have to wake up early for the classes the next day.

Be prepared for that.

Also, be prepared to cut down your social time. If you are used to hanging out with friends and going out late at night, you can say goodbye to the good ol' party days. I prepared for that the summer before law school. I went out, drank, partied and had a good ol' crazy time up until the day before orientation.



2. Do NOT shut yourself off from the real world

As described above, you may not be able to "hang out" with your family and friends as often as you did before but that is where Time Management comes into play.

I make time to have dinner with at least one BFF, once a week.

It is always nice to see someone that is NOT in law school.

I do love my TJSL folks but you must give yourself a break from the people you see everyday.

Did I mention that yet? Class is everyday, for fulltimers.

It's funny because my friends always ask me how school is and I always answer them with a short "it's good. it's okay. it's going." Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for attending law school and love what I am doing but if they honestly wanted me to answer that question it would turn into a lengthy converation about cases, rules, reading and writing. I'm sure no one will understand what I am talking about so I don't even bother. Also, the whole point of hanging out with non-law people is to get away from it, for just a little while. I don't want to talk about it, let's talk about something else in life, please?!



3. Sleep

Sometimes it is not possible to allow yourself a full 8 hours of sleep each night but get at least 5 or 6 and then try to catch up on the weekends.

Getting rest will keep you sane. It really will.



4. Exercise

Now I'm no gym freak but being just a little active will again keep you sane, just like sleep.

I walk my doggie Jaden everyday and at least every other day go on the eliptical.

I'd love to workout more and shed some pounds but just getting in a slight routine of getting some motion each day will be sufficient for now.



5. Prepare yourself for at least 4 hours of reading, studying, homework outside of class time each day

4 hours is good enough to fit in reading and facebooking! If you want to take notes and review previous notes and fit in Legal Writing Research prepare for 5+ hours.



6. Start your outlines early

What is an outline?

An outline is comprised of the main issues of the class.

They include the topics and brief information on each topic to be studied for the midterm (if your school even has midterms) and the final.

DO NOT DEPEND on others for their outlines.

I have looked at 5 outlines from others and some of the information can either be omitted or was completely different from what I knew.

It's all about what YOU know.



7. Go to class... On time

My Torts Professor has a "Wall of Shame".

If you walk in even 1 minute late, you put your name up and you will be called on.

Not only is is important to arrive to class on time but it is good to make your best effort to attend.

At TJSL you are allowed up to 4 absences per course. Save up those absences for emergencies. Going to class is your benefit and you did not pay up to $20,000 a semester to not attend.



8. Find Section Friends, not Frienamies

It may be the impression of other law schools for your classmates to be your competition but at TJSL they emphasis to help each other out. You want to make section friends so you can have study groups. Duh! And if you miss a class, you can ask for their notes. And, if you get called on and need help, they might be able to give you a hand. It all works out for the best!



9. Know where other law libraries are in your area

When it is time for Memos to be written you will fight for the same books in your law school's library. If there is an alternative, (county law library other law school libraries) take advantage of it. The San Diego County Law Library is totally empty and your books will mostlikely be there for you to use.



10. Take ALL the FREE stuff they give you

During orientation the school was giving away free t-shirts, water bottles and highlighters. TAKE THEM! Take them all! You'll never see these free things again. You've paid thousands so you're entitled to take them, unless they give you a limit and they Don't. My mistake was not taking enough highlighters. It's week 10 and I've gone through 4 highlighters. You WILL NEED them! Also, if there are events that are free and include free food... GO! Some meetings for clubs are actually interesting and you might just want to get involved.



11. Make sure your cell phone and laptop are on silent.

Just save yourself the embarassment. One of my Professor's makes you buy breakfast or lunch for the class if your phone rings in class.



12. Stay ahead of the game

Try reading ahead for class so you don't read it all the night before. Go ahead and read a class or 2 ahead if you can and if your Prof. does not advise you to not do so.



13. Office hours and help sessions

If you are HELLA lost or just want some construcutive feedback or have some questions. GO to office hours and help sessions. They really do help!



14. Buy Black's Law Dictionary

You can look up definitions online but I like Black's. If you have an iphone you can dl the app.

15. Have Fun!
Although there is endless reading you have to remember to have fun. I study everyday with my Law School bffs and we make it fun since we have jokes and stories that are "outside" of law school. We're silly girls too so it's pretty funny being around us!

... This list will continue throughout my 1L year but for now it's back to Memo 2 research!

Writing Too Much

I've never had a problem with writing.

Writing on and on about a subject and adding references to make my point even more valid was never something I had a problem with.

BUT, it becomes a problem when your MEMO has a page limit.

In the beginning I thought I would have a problem writing 8 pages on an issue that up until 2 weeks ago I knew nothing about.
I now feel like an expert on this issue.
We are not allowed to discuss our paper or what we wrote in our paper so I will spare the details.

Cutting those details down is the biggest issue yet.
I spent 3 hours cutting a 10 page paper down to 8 pages.
Many people think that an 8 page paper is easy to write but it is not easy when you have to condense information and you have to figure out what factors to leave out without cutting out points that are crucial to your argument.

Now it's time to put the revised paper down and look with new eyes tomorrow.
I hope my Memo kicks butt since I feel like it has been kicking my butt for the past couple of weeks.

It's the end of Week 7 and I've got to say, a lot of progress has been made.
The TJSL campus, especially the 2nd floor of the library has been my 1st home for these past 7 weeks but I've found a balance with it all.
I do not subject myself to whole days cooped up in this poorly decorated building but for the most part I'm here at least 5 hours a day outside of class time.
The blog is my sanctuary. It's me time right now.
My time to rant and rave about what bugs me and what bugs me right now is how all the books (mostly law reviews) are bound in colors that remind me of death or a hospital. Right across from me the Cardozo Public Law, Policy and Ethnic Journal is bound in a Bluish-Greenish color that looks the color of a barf bucket from the hospital. The walls of the study rooms are dreadful too. Why couldn't they just paint it good old fashioned WHITE? Instead it's an egg colored beige that looks like faded construction paper yellow.